A fundamental problem with being a human is our constant search for comfort. Those people who thrive in extremes and enjoy the uncomfortable are labeled unusual or boat-rockers. Those people who create uncomfortable situations are systematically alienated from the rest of us, who are searching for ease.
Shouldn't the prospect of being aliens be familiar to us, as "aliens and strangers in the world?" If so, then why do we strain so hard for comfort, and is it okay to strain so hard for comfort?
All that to introduce all this:
Part 1: A step in the right direction.
In my experience with various churches in the last seven or eight years, I have found that there are several churches making no attempt to paint the Christian and Christ-following, Spirit-trusting lifestyle as one that is easy. Getting baptized isn't going to automatically solve your problems, get you a job and a tie and land you on the choir.
In many books I've read, there have been various reports of churches that try to paint the picture that life with Jesus is all rainbows and roses. An implication is made that some established churches proclaim that being saved not only saves us from damnation but also the struggles in life. I have never had this experience. I don't know if that's good or bad. Sometimes, church-wise, it is nice to experience things you would never want to do in your own church.
My experiences have been more along the lines of churches avoiding talking about every day life post-salvation. Sermons to Christians tend to be more along the lines of, "This is what you should not do, and this is what you should do." There is no, "There are people here who know Jesus, but have problems in their marriage. There are people here who know Jesus, but have stuggled and continue to struggle with addictions. There are people here who know Jesus, and they are depressed, clinically, and are not sure about the practicality of continuing to live. I know there are those people here because my life isn't easy. I have issues that come up. My checkbook seems thinner than I need it to be. Here is how faith, community, love, and sacrifice, our own and our God's will help us through that. And once we're through that, here are the amazing places we can go. Here are the adventures yet to look forward to."
Lately, I have been to three different churches that seem to honest about how life really is; Forefront (Virginia Beach, VA), Common Ground (Fredericksburg, VA), and Momentum (Cleveland, OH). The similarities between these churches isn't surprising, as the founders of each came from the same place and influenced each other.
Intentionally talking about the uncomfortable things in life may be the first step toward becoming comfortable with discomfort. It opens the door for discussion about real life issues. As church-leaders, this makes us more accessible and seen as survivors, warriors. Men (or women) fighting the fight with the eyes on the prize. Someone worth following.
Part 2: The Next Step
Loving people. Both Momentum and Common Ground use a variation of the same theme, which starts out with "Love God, Love People." I think Forefront uses some variation of this as well. All three also freely advertise the lack of perfect people.
If we can create an environment where there is certain amounts of discomfort and openness is expected, then an increase of tolerance for things that make us uncomfortable is possible. If that is possible, then with the proper vision, could not discomfort regarding other things be tolerable, expected, and most of all exciting?
If loving God means acknowleding that being a Christian doesn't automatically mean everything is going to be peaches and cream, then loving people should mean acknowledging that it is not always going to be cream and peaches. I don't know how. It just seems like a logical progression.
Breaking down the American (human) desire for everything to be comfortable should be step one because in real life...in my life...it's not. I think Jesus tried to paint this picture in a lot of parables...such as the parable of the lost sheep...Our own comfort as Christians cannot be the paramount concern. The pharisees and probably even some of Jesus' followers were uncomfortable being around the "sinners and tax collectors."
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At Forefront, Vince spoke about the movie, Munich, and he talked about revenge and the almost instinctual (and sinful) desire for vengeance most people struggle with, with or without Christ. He then
At Mo', a guest speaker whose name I cannot recall spoke in depth about the stuggles with fear he was experiencing following a troubled pregnancy/miscarriage. Certainly not the rainbows and roses of a fearless Christian. He then said that through Christ, and with Him through prayer, forward motion away from the acknowledged fear is possible and exciting.
-Matt
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4 comments:
I had my friend Jess Glass edit this to make sure it made sense. She had a great comment:
"I don't know why anyone would represent the Christian life as anything but hard. If we follow the example of Christ in the gospels, it's the hardest thing God could ever ask of us. But the payoff is worth it. That's why when we're asked to step outside of our comfort zones, we can do it confidently."
The hard part, I would say, is convincing people of that.
I like how you said,"If loving God means acknowledging that being a Christian doesn't automatically mean everything is going to be peaches and cream, then loving people should mean acknowledging that it is not always going to be cream and peaches."
That does seem like a logical progression.
As for discomfort, we have a problem. One Psychological theory proposes that humans have a strong desire to be in homeostasis. Anything that puts them out of homeostasis, humans will change somehow so they can be back in homeostasis. One way people do this is through cognitive dissonance. Cognitive Dissonance happens when someone makes a choice in life that is outside of their comfort zone. Now, in order to be back in homeostasis one has to either A. Change their situation or B. Change what they think about their situation. So, if one is sleeping with their girlfriend and they think it is wrong they either have to stop sleeping with their girlfriend or start believing it is not wrong.
In the book "Good to Great" (a great book of lessons learned from successful businesses), the author talks about this theory for homeostasis. He mentions that this happens in companies also, but the best companies are those who've found ways to always make room for change.
For example, in Microsoft. They hired this apple guy who swears, dresses poorly, and hates Microsoft to be in charge of the xbox division. He is a chink in the chain that can think outside the box and always tests the microsoft ways. In church, we need to find ways to hire and encourage this kind of thought. This is where growth can happen in church.
Going back to your past posts, this can be the "Question-Asker" in the congregation. We might not always like him as he questions a lot, but he will cause us to be more self-reflective and to ask hard questions. Questions like, "How does this help us reach the unchurched?"
So, creating discomfort can be a problem b/c humans are created to run from discomfort.
But, relating to some of your other posts. If there is a passion that drives the church and growth moves people closer to arriving at that dream, then discomfort can be worth it. People will die for dreams. And the last time I checked, death is uncomfortable. So, again, maybe this goes back to
A. Finding the right dream. Finding a hill for people to live for and die on. And.
B. Creating cogs in the machine that do not allow for complete complacency.
(In a church, this could be a yearly time for self-reflection where you ask insiders and outsiders to evaluate your church and include in that people who hate church.)
Matt's third major paragraph under "part 1" is right on. A major factor in making any community healthy and welcoming is a sense of safety. And that is not achieved when airs of perfection are put forth.
Proverbs 27:6 says:
“Wounds from a friend are better than many kisses from an enemy."
I agree. I've come to realize that for someone not to validate my struggles is extremely alienating. If we as a church feel that piety demands that we pretend like earthly problems don't phase us, then we fail to be real or "in this world." If we don't bleed red blood when we get cut, what planet will non-Christians think we're from?
The church is where we should feel free to come out into the light, judgment free. When a pastor peppers his sermon with references to weaknesses of his, or if I can catch a whiff of humility from him that takes for granted his neediness before God, then I am greatly inspired. Such an attitude (confidence before God despite ones' faults) makes grace real for people. And that is a top priority for any church, me thinks.
According to the State of TX, death by lethal injection is not terribly uncomfortable, but that is neither here nor there.
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